Consequences
by JediMagnet09
Summary: Set during Season Three - Sam is desperate to break the deal, but doesn't have his brother's support. Lonely and frantic, Sam makes a desperate decision, a small deal of his own, to save his brother. Can both brothers come out of this unscathed?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! So I wasn't going to do this one next, but I just read a couple of season three fics and I just am so TICKED at Dean's attitude (Sam doesn't love me, Sam is stronger, it'll be okay, light at the end of the tunnel that's really just hellfire...you know, that kinda thing) that I really wanted Sam to show him a few things. So this is my version of the deal breaking that I really wish had happened in the show. :)

Needless to say, I am a Sam girl, so while this won't be Dean-bashing because I love Dean too and do sorta get his point of view, this will definitely be from Sam's point of view, focusing on his hurt and his pain. At least at first. Eventually Dean will get to have the spotlight. After all, a little bit of Dean guilt and angst completes a story. :)

Enjoy!

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><p>Sam was beginning to wonder if his brother had some masochistic <em>desire<em> to go to hell.

_Why won't you just fight?_

The idea of living without his older brother was agonizing, woke him up every night with nightmares.

_Please, Dean. Just fight, dang it._

Then of course the next question in his mind was:_ Why are you making __**me**__ pay for what's happening?_

Dean had been more distant in the last few months than ever before, including the time right after their dad died.

He let Sam stitch himself up, let Sam drive more, had Sam run in for food, had Sam take care of the car, had Sam take the lead on hunts and choose the hunts. The biggest change, however, was emotionally. For someone who hated chick flicks, Dean had a way of initating them when they were needed without ever having tears shed. His big brother ensured his emotional health as well, which was something Sam hadn't known until his brother had taken it away.

Sam assumed it was all from some twisted desire to toughen him up before he left.

_Forget that! You're not going anywhere Dean. Not if I have something to say about it._

...

"Dang it, Sam, I told you to drop it!"

"You're going to _hell_, Dean, I'm not going to just _drop it_!"

Dean's face twisted in irriation and fury.

Both had lost track of how many times they had fought about this.

"Sam, I _told you_ that I don't want to fight this and that you shouldn't. I can't get any more clear than that. I am not risking you for this."

"That doesn't mean you have to give up! At the very least you shouldn't try to stop _me_ from finding a way out!"

"No, Sam! I'm not going to risk your life with this!"

"But you're perfectly willing to risk the rest of me. As long as I'm breathing right?" Sam's voice was mocking, trying to keep himself from exploding. He was nearing the end of his patience with Dean.

Dean's face hardened at the tone. "I will stop you if I have to Sam."

Sam snapped.

One second he was on the other side of the room, the next he was shoving Dean into the wall, pinning him there easily. It was a frightening demonstration of what the last few months of less protection from Dean had done to him. Despite Dean's struggles, he couldn't get lose.

Sam's voice was shaking with rage, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

_"You listen to me. You are __**not**__ going to do this to me."_

Utter agony was clear in his eyes, coupled with total fury.

_"I never had mom. I lost Jess. I lost Madison. I lost dad. I am not...__**not**__ losing you too. I __**refuse**__ to be the last Winchester standing. You hear me, Dean? I __**refuse**__ to be the last."_

Sam finally released him with a shove, striding towards the door, ferocious vehemence in his every step. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out, knocking over a chair and kicking the table roughly as he left.

His older brother stood in silence, bowing his head with a sigh.

...

Sam had never felt such a strong combination of fury and terror before.

He strode down the sidewalk, purposeless except for a desire to get away from the brother he was trying to save.

His phone rang.

The second he saw the ID, he flipped it open, forcing his voice to be calm and cool, despite the sudden pounding of his heart.

"Well?"

"I have the information you wanted, Mr. Winchester. She lives in the area."

Sam quickly pulled out a pen and small notepad that he had taken to keeping on his person (for cases just like this) and jotted down the address.

"She's expecting me?"

The dealer sounded offended. "Of course."

"Alright. I'm headed there now. Your money's on its way."

Sam hung up.

...

"So. Essentially, your brother made a deal to bring you back to life and you don't like the terms. You want to get him out of it." The witch gazed at him impassively.

Sam nodded. "Yes."

"And you're willing to do anything."

"Yes."

The witch regarded him a moment, then nodded.

"Yes, I have a way. And I _will _do it for you. However, I will need a little favor in return."

"Whatever you want." Sam swallowed back his own fear.

_I can't live without Dean. I'm sorry, big brother, but you're not the only one who needs his family. I may have left, but...well, I grew up and I learned a lot...the hard way. I needed normal. Never meant I didn't need you._

_I won't let you die for me._

_I can't be alone._

"You should be aware, Samuel, that my method is not pretty. You won't like it. Neither will your brother."

_Oh, no sunshine and daisies? I'm shocked. Right._

"He doesn't have to know. He made this deal, he can live with the consequences."

Cold as it sounded, Sam could hold a grudge with the best of them and he wasn't quite ready to forgive his brother yet. It would come with time. If he had it.

"As you wish."


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! The response to this story has been amazing! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts! This chapter is dedicated to MysteryMadchen (who is simply awesome and listened to my rants and showed me I have a kindred spirit in my love for Sam) and the amazing Sam Winchester himself, who deserves a little bit of credit for being so freaking brilliant and brave and selfless, even if he doesn't always choose the best ways to get these things done.

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><p>Weeks passed in tense silence.<p>

Sam kept up the researching pretense, both because he wanted to make sure Dean knew he wasn't giving up on him and because he wanted to tick his brother off.

_Serves the jerk right._

The thought crossed Sam's mind as he stitched himself up _again_, his brother claiming he needed practice.

_I'll show you __**practice**__ you big pain in the butt._

Honestly, if Dean hadn't been such a jerk, Sam would have been leaping for joy.

It was _over_.

Dean was _free_.

Dean just didn't know it yet.

And of course, Sam's own terror at what was to come didn't help either.

_I can do this. I can do anything for Dean. _

...

Finally, it was time.

Sam insisted on going with his older brother to the Crossroads, absolutely refusing to listen to any argument Dean made.

They leaned against the Impala, silently watching the clock as it ticked.

Dean had gone pale at the half hour mark.

He had started shaking at the fifteen minute mark.

Sam's anger took a backseat.

He couldn't let his brother be afraid.

Moving forward, Sam wrapped his older brother in a tight hug, feeling the form in his arms stiffen for a second.

It spoke volumes to Sam that Dean didn't fight him, relaxing a moment later.

"I love you, Dean. Remember that, no matter what happens. It'll be okay, big brother."

Before a very startled Dean could respond, the demon appeared before them.

Dean and Sam straightened in response, facing the demon, a smirk slipping over Dean's face to cover emotion.

Sam's anger wasn't a mask.

Hounds stood at the demon's side, barking and yapping. Aware that he wasn't _actually_ supposed to be able to see or hear them, Sam forced himself not to react, though his brother barely managed to hide his own flinch.

"Well, Dean, I have to say I'm rather surprised you didn't try something stupid."

Dean shrugged. "No need to."

Sam's fists clenched at that. He was sure Dean didn't mean it the way it sounded (_at least I hope so_), but it still ticked him off to have Dean so resigned, defeated.

The hounds were going crazy, ready and desperate to reach their prey.

Sam took a couple of steps to the side, unnoticed by his brother.

_1... _

_I can do this._

The demon smirked.

"Ready to see hell, Dean?"

_2..._

_For Dean._

"Just get it over with, #$%#."

_3._

The demon snapped her fingers and the hounds charged forward.

Right passed Dean.

Sam jerked with the force of the hounds plowing into him, screams ripping from him as the hounds tore into his flesh.

Distantly, he could hear Dean screaming in panic and horror, the demon yelling in fury.

Finally, the hounds were called back.

Seconds had passed, but Sam felt like it had been hours.

Dean dropped to his knees beside Sam, gently gathering him into his arms, crying softly.

"I don't understand. This wasn't part of the deal! He wasn't supposed to be hurt!"

Dean looked down at Sam, barely able to stomach all the blood he was confronted with.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry, I don't...I don't understand..."

Sam blinked up at Dean sluggishly, hurt in his face. "Wh-what, y-you're t-talkikng to m-me now?"

Dean froze, hurt flashing in his eyes, followed quickly by guilt. "I'm sorry. I...I was trying to protect you, Sam."

"B-by m-making me s-suffer?"

"I'm sorry.

"D-doesn't m-matter n-now."

_"What did you do?"_

"N-nothing."

"ENOUGH!"

The brothers looked up as the demon screamed.

She gestured wildly towards the confused hounds. Immediately, they burst into flame with horrible screeches and howls.

Seconds later, new ones appeared.

Demonic power wrapped around Dean, tossing him away from Sam.

_"Get him!"_

The order was clear and the new hounds leapt forward.

Once again, moving right passed Dean.

Sam's screams were heart-wrenching, cutting off the second the demon ordered the hounds away for a second time, enraged.

Sam was gasping now, pale, blood soaking into the stones and dirt beneath him.

Dean was hysterical, screaming for Sam.

Later, he would be unnerved by how calm Sam was.

"Y-you b-broke the d-deal. He's o-off th-the hook. Y-you c-can't t-take his s-soul." Sam managed, throwing a small smirk of triumph at the demon.

The demon erupted, screaming her fury to the sky, then disappeared in a burst of flame, the hounds going with her.

Sam's gasping, Dean's sobbing, the only sounds to be heard.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here's the next chapter. We're getting into Dean's point of view now and will be delving into his guilt and pain. :)

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><p>Dean felt such a crazy mix of emotions, he was sure he was about to explode.<p>

Fear for his baby brother overshadowed any relief he would have felt at the end of the deal, guilt blossoming as he began to grasp just how much his deal had done to his brother.

The trip to the hospital had been the worst drive Dean had ever endured, keeping half his attention on the road, half on his bleeding sibling. One hand on the wheel, the other pressing against the worst of the bleeding wounds.

"Stay with me, Sammy. It'll be okay. We'll take care of this, I promise. You'll be fine."

Words had spewed from his mouth, his attention split by so many things that he had no real idea what he was saying.

_Please be okay. I'm __**sorry**__._

Sam's words at the crossroads spun around in his mind, adding to his guilt every time one of them came to the front of his thoughts.

_"Wh-what, y-you're t-talking to m-me now?"_

_"B-by m-making me s-suffer?"_

_"D-doesn't m-matter n-now."_

The despair in his brother's voice, the resignation, had cut into Dean like a physical wound, painful.

Sam should never sound like that.

And definitely not because of him.

Now Dean was pacing in the hospital waiting room, hoping, aching for news.

At some point he had called Bobby, managed to spit out what happened.

He must have sounded really bad, because Bobby said he would be there as soon as possible, adding a stern, "Don't do anything stupid."

_I deserted him. I wasn't there for him._

_"Wh-what, y-you're t-talking to m-me now?"_

_I hurt him so badly. Gosh, how could I have been so selfish?_

_"B-by m-making me s-suffer?"_

Dean still remembered the horror of Cold Oak, the empty feeling that followed the agony he could never truly voice.

He wasn't sure he could regret that. He couldn't live without Sam and he knew it. He needed his baby brother.

But could there have been a better way to cope?

His hasty decision, made in the throes of grief, had ended up hurting those he loved a great deal. Especially Sam.

_"B-by m-making me s-suffer?"_

His attempt to toughen his brother up had only made things worse.

Watching Sam stitch himself up had been one of the hardest things he had ever done, but at the time it had seemed like the best option. Sam would be doing it alone soon and better he mess up and practice while Dean was there to fix it than when there was no one to help if it went wrong.

At least that's what Dean had thought at the time.

_What have I done?_

_"B-by m-making me s-suffer?"_

_"D-doesn't m-matter n-now."_

"Dean Smith?"

Dean looked up, stalking up to the doctor in a few quick strides.

"How's my brother?"

The doctor sighed, looking exhausted.

"He's out of surgery. We repaired all he could and he's stable for now, but he's not out of the woods yet. We have a long way to go till he's okay."

As much as the words hurt, Dean was glad the doctor was being straightforward.

"Can I see him?"

The doctor nodded. "Follow me and I'll show you to his room."

...

Dean sat by his brother's bedside for hours, hating how pale his sibling's skin was, how still he was.

"Dean?"

The oldest Winchester looked up to see Bobby standing in the doorway.

"How you holding up, son? How's Sam?" Bobby sat, taking the chair opposite Dean.

"Been better."

"Which?"

"Both of us."

Bobby looked grim at that, his sharp eyes taking in everything they could on both boys.

_Dean looks like crap. That boy has finally realized what his deal was doing to Sam. Just hope it wasn't too late._

...

They had stepped out for a minute at most.

Both had needed coffee and air desperately, the quiet beeping of the machines slowly driving them both crazy.

When they got back, the bed was empty.

...

The hospital was searched for hours. Not an inch went unchecked.

But the grim truth was, Sam hadn't even been awake, much less able to get up and walk out of the hospital on his own.

He had been taken.

Dean was utterly frantic, his guilt and fear combining to drive him completely up the wall. Only Bobby's steady presence kept him in some semblance of control in public, but the second they were alone, Dean broke.

His sobs were painful to hear, his frantic questions impossible to answer.

_Where are you, Sammy?_

...

When it became clear that Sam wouldn't be found in the hospital, Bobby managed to convince Dean to come to his place.

Together, they began to research, throwing themselves into this new hunt for Sam with frantic energy.

...

_**Three Months Later**_

Dean didn't have much hope left in him. He was fracturing under the weight of his guilt, pain, worry, and desperate fear.

Bobby and he hadn't stopped researching, searching, but nothing had come up.

Sam's computer had been wiped clean of everything concerning his hell research.

Neither of them said it out loud, but both feared that Sam was in hell, suffering in Dean's place.

That, more than almost anything else, drove Dean to the Crossroads demon.

...

"I want my brother back."

The demon looked him up and down, a smirk stretching her features. "While I'd love to make a deal with you, handsome, I'm afraid I'm bound. I can't make a deal with you."

Dean stared at her a second.

_She what? How the heck-_

_Sam._

_That kid should have been a lawyer._

"I-Is Sam in hell?"

The demon's smirk widened, shoulders shrugging.

"No one knows where he is."

...

**One Month Later**

**Four months after Sam went missing**

Dean needed to get out.

He was desperate and breaking under the forces against him.

Even Bobby couldn't keep the man together.

The only person who could have was gone, inexplicably missing.

So they turned to the next best thing.

A hunt.

Bobby insisted on accompanying Dean, knowing the idjit would get himself killed if he went alone.

...

Dean hated hunts in museums.

Ghosts always managed to pick up the really sharp, really heavy things and throw them. As if the usual table and chairs and other assorted pieces of furniture wasn't bad enough.

Though, if he was being honest, a knock to the head would be welcome right now.

He would give anything to stop thinking.

_My fault._

_All Sam's suffering._

_My fault._

"Dean!"

The shouted warning from his friend came a second too late.

Dean looked up, the ghost in front of him, about to ram him through with a long, ancient spear that was somehow still sharp.

_No. Not yet. I have to find Sam!_

It was all Dean had time for before the ghost suddenly froze.

The ghost's face twisted in confusion and fury, thrusting the spear again only to have it stop a foot from Dean's abdomen.

Both hunters stared in shock, unable to believe what they were seeing.

Finally, Bobby brought up his shotgun and fired.

"Let's-Let's get this done, boy."

...

The drive back to Bobby's was quiet.

Dean stewed in his own guilt and fear.

He knew, _knew, _that Sam had made some kind of deal.

Dean couldn't die.

_What did you do, Sammy?_

_How could I have let this happen?_

_I'm so sorry, Sammy._

Sam never would have sold his soul, made _any_ kind of deal, if Dean hadn't done so first.

_I should have found another way._

_Or done something that only hurt me._

_Heck, I could have given Sam what he wanted and helped him __**fight**__ it. _

_I was so scared._

_But I went about all of this the completely wrong way._

_Sam may be smarter than me, but I guess he really does need me as much as I need him._

Dean felt ridiculous and utterly stupid for ever having believed otherwise.

_I raised him. Of course he would need me._

_How many times have I pulled him out of a funk, made him eat and drink, made him sleep, made him go out for fun, saved him on a hunt gone wrong, patched him up?_

_Crap, I was so stupid._

Sam's reaction to their dad's death made more sense now.

_Dad was __**my**__ dad. I was...I was Sam's dad._

The realization only made Dean's heart ache more, his burden of grief and guilt threatening to tear him apart.

_Oh Sammy._

_I'm so sorry._

_I'll fix this._

_I'll find you, I promise, and I'll make it all better._

_I have to._


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the reviews guys! So glad to know you like the story! I'm updating this one pretty quickly because it's the weekend and homework has slowed down a little, so I'll probably update several chapters over the weekend. Enjoy! :)

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><p><em>"So...so, the hellhounds will think I'm Dean. They'll come after me."<em>

_"Yes."_

_"What's the favor?"_

_For the first time, emotion flitted across the witch's face. "My sister sold her soul for her sick husband and child. Her deal comes due four months after your brother's does. You must disappear after saving your brother and take the hellhound attack for my sister as well. Because of the specific details of her detail, that will release her from her deal. You will then be free to return to your brother. If you survive."_

_Sam was pale, trying to hide his shaking. _

_**Holy crap. Two hellhound attacks. I'm not likely to survive that.**_

_Sam found, in the face of losing his brother, he would much rather die than be left alone. _

_"Alright. I'll do it, __**but**__ I want you to promise me something first."_

_"What?"_

_"My brother has to be safe while I'm gone. No dying. No deals. I don't want him to die until he's __**old**__, got it? He's safe. Even from his own hand. No deals, no suicide, no dying on hunts."_

_The witch gazed at him, seeming amused._

_"You think I have the power to do that?"_

_Sam met her gaze squarely, no fear in his eyes. _

_"I know you do."_

_The witch laughed._

_"You Winchesters are something different, aren't you? Very well, then. I will cast the spell on you, and protect your brother. However, in return, you must take the attack for my sister. You cannot see __or speak to your brother during those four months, Samuel. You understand? This is powerful magic and I can't have it interrupted. We both know your brother won't allow you to do this if he knows what will happen."_

_Sam hesitated at that, then sighed and nodded. It was hard and would thoroughly suck, but it was better than them __**both**__ dying, right?_

_The witch closed her eyes, concentrating._

_Sam felt a harsh burn sweep through his being, pulling a gasp from him as he jerked in pain._

_As suddenly as it came, it was gone. _

_The witch looked Sam up and down, as if surveying her invisible handywork._

_"It's been done. The spell has been cast."_

...

Sam moaned softly, stirring from his restless sleep.

His eyes flickerered open to survey the room he had come to hate.

The witch's cabin was small, barely enough room for the both of them. Though, considering Sam couldn't walk or move on his own, it worked well enough.

The witch had used a combination of magic and stolen hospital equipment to keep him alive and cared for, though she had none of the caring touch that Dean used to have while caring for his ill little brother.

_Dean._

The thought of his brother brought pain, these days.

As much as he missed his brother, ached for a companion during these miserable days of pure agony, he knew his brother must be much worse off.

He regretted a great deal the fact that he couldn't tell his brother where he was or even that he was okay.

He hadn't understood that the witch didn't even want him to leave a note saying he'd be back or that he was okay. She literally meant no contact.

And now that she had him, she refused to get a note to Dean.

It had been a source of great contention between them and, needless to say, she didn't come around much.

Miserable, agonized, and alone, Sam suffered through four months of slow torture, waiting for the day he could finally return to his brother, waiting for this nightmare to end.

...

It was time.

Sam fidgeted in his seat, fear and anxiety, excitement and horror all mixing together to get a fully agitated young Winchester.

The witch's sister and brother in law were sitting in the back seat, eyeing him worriedly, as the witch drove her small car to the crossroads.

"Alright, Samuel. It is time."

Sam swallowed hard.

"I'm ready."

...

Sam wasn't even aware of his gasping sobs, occasional screams, until he distantly heard the witch's sister speak.

"Oh, gosh, drive faster! I can't...I can't...this is horrible...Sarah, he won't stop screaming and he's crying and it gets worse whenever I put pressure on it!"

The witch, Sarah, spoke a second later from her place in the driver's seat, glancing back at Sam, lying on the backseat, bleeding out, and her sister, sitting in the footwell beside the seat, trying to keep him alive until they could get to the hospital.

"Just keep pressure on it. Keep him alive, that's what matters."

Her sister grimaced, but pressed down harder and Sam let out a scream and let the blackness take him.

...

Sarah watched as the frantic doctors whisked Sam Winchester away, yelling and ordering as they went.

"Get the defib ready! We're losing him!"

"He's not breathing!"

"Lost his pulse!"

"Char-"

And the doors swung shut.

_Good luck, Sam. Foolish, maybe, but you're brave. If anyone does, you deserve a happy ending._

A nurse approached her, but Sarah waved a hand. "I don't know him. I just found him after he was attacked by...whatever he was attacked by. However, I found this number on a paper in his hand. Perhaps this person can tell you more."

Sarah handed them the slip of paper on which she had written Dean Winchester's number.

She had grown to like Sam. She could do this for him.

The boy deserved to have his brother here by his side, considering the very large chance that Sam wouldn't survive.

The nurse looked down at the piece of paper.

When she looked up, Sarah was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey all! You all know the drill, I'm so happy about all the reviews I got and I really hope you enjoy the story! :)

This is the second to last chapter of this story. We're reaching the end!

I've been trying to upload this story for over six hours! Holy crap! This site is driving me freaking crazy! {deep breath} Okay. It's all good. Short rant over. :)

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><p>Dean wearily flipped open his phone.<p>

"Hello?"

"Hi, This is Mary Ash from Kentucky General Hospital. This number was found near the body of one of our patients. You wouldn't happen to know a Sam Winchester, would you?"

...

"They say the number was found near him?" Bobby asked from his place in the passenger seat of the Impala.

Dean nodded grimly. "Yeah. She wouldn't tell me anything more over the phone, but said to hurry. Whatever's happened, it's bad."

_Not like we didn't already know that._

...

Dean walked silently, hesitantly, into Sam's hospital room.

It had been a long time since he'd seen Sam and the last time hadn't exactly been the highlight of either of their lives.

He hadn't thought it was possible, but Sam looked even worse now.

The list of injuries was staggering and Dean had finally had to sit down and put his head between his knees.

From the sounds of it, Sam had been attacked by a pack of hellhounds. _Again._

Dean didn't understand it, but he put his curiosity in the back of his mind, only to be released if Sam turned out okay.

It was the "if" in that sentence that killed him.

...

As the days crawled by, the nurses eventually stopped asking the two hunters to leave. They never agreed to anyway and the nurses saw a bit of improvement, subtle but present, in their still unconscious patient when the family was there.

Dean talked until his voice was hoarse, telling stories, making promises, urging Sam to wake up.

There was never a response.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into nearly a month that they sat there, waiting for Sam to wake up.

Bobby was the only thing holding Dean together. The older man took charge, urging Dean to take care of himself, forcing the younger man to eat and shower. It wasn't all that different from the previous four months, though Dean had lost his drive to keep himself fit enough to research and go after Sam when it became necessary (and it would, neither of them would ever let themselves believe otherwise). So, in a way, this was even worse than it had been before.

"Please Sammy."

The pleading Dean had taken to recently broke Bobby's heart every time he heard.

"Wake up. I'm so sorry, kiddo. I promise you're safe and it's all over."

Dean choked back a sob.

"I'll do better this time, man, I promise. No more deals, okay? For either of us."

After three weeks, Sam started triggering the vent they had him on. Within the week, they managed to wean him off it.

It was a surprise the doctor's weren't expecting, but hope began to blossom in the hospital for the young patient.

If only he would wake up...

...

Sam was floating in blissful nothingness.

He had no idea how long he had been in this peaceful nothing, but it seemed like a long time.

No pain, no fear.

There was something else that was missing, but his foggy brain refused to admit what it was.

Until...

_"Please Sammy."_

_I know that voice._

_"I'll do better this time, man, I promise. No more deals, okay? For either of us."_

The pain in the voice sparked something in Sam and suddenly, he knew.

_Dean. Oh gosh. Dean's here._

_Have to get to Dean._

...

Dean froze.

_Did Sam just stir?_

He blinked, then sighed.

_Must have been my imagin-_

Dean hadn't even finished the thought when Sam let out a small moan.

He was grasping Sam's hand gently a moment later.

"That's it, Sammy. Can you hear me, kiddo? I'm here, big brother's here, you're safe, I promise. Just wake up. Open them eyes, Sammy."

Sam's eyes fluttered open, glazed over and sluggish from both drugs and his ordeal.

"D'n?" His voice was rough, and so quiet, Dean could barely hear him.

The older brother's eyes filled with tears at the sound.

"Sammy. Oh, gosh, Sammy."

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Sam's, one hand on either side of his face.

"Never do that to me again. When you're stronger, you're going to tell me everything, you hear? You understand me? Never again."

Dean pulled away so he could see Sam's face.

Sam looked slightly irritated, giving him a pointed look. "Th-then don't ma' another d-deal."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut tightly, tears leaking through his closed lids despite his efforts at slowing them.

"I'm sorry." he choked.

A slight squeeze of his hand had his eyes opening again.

Sam's look had softened now, gentle and loving and just so _Sam_ that Dean wanted to start crying again.

"I g-get it. Ju-just p-please. N-no more. I-I c-can't do th-this a-again. N-need y-you, Dean." Sam's eyes were sliding shut, exhaustion catching up with him, reminding them both that recovery was still a long ways away.

"It's okay, Sammy." Dean managed. "Sleep. I'll be here when we wake up and we'll have a full blown chick flick moment when you're strong enough. Give you a free pass and everything."

"J-jerk." Sam offered him a fading smile.

"#$%^." Dean returned immediately.

Finally, his baby brother's eyes closed and he was conked out again.

Dean sighed, glancing over at Bobby who was gazing at him steadily. He offered his friend a slight smile.

"I'll go get the doctor." Bobby said softly, leaving the oldest living Winchester alone with his brother.

Dean turned to look at Sam.

_Don't worry, Sam. I think I've learned my lesson. No more deals. For either of us. What it did to you...never again. For that matter...what it did to me too... So sorry. _

_But it'll be okay._

Sam didn't hate him, had even given him several signs that they could be okay with a little bit of work and one (or two) dreaded chick flick moments.

_We'll be fine. Still a ways to go to get there, but we __**will**__ get there._


	6. Chapter 6

Happy Fourth of July to all my readers who are American like me! I went to a parade today and a potluck and it was awesome! School off, whoot!

To those of you who aren't American, I still hope you had a good day. :)

Here's the last chapter of this story. Don't know what's next yet. Thanks for all the reviews! :)

* * *

><p>They both had a lot of healing to do.<p>

It was something Dean had realized and tried to accept, sitting in the hospital for the next few days as his little brother slept, peacefully this time, waking up periodically for food and to check that his older brother was there.

It wasn't just physical healing. Sam's injuries were severe and recovery would really suck. That much Dean knew. Healing lungs, several surgeries, severe blood loss, multiple deep gashes, broken wrist and a broken leg and that was just what Dean understood.

However, he could see now that Sam had emotional healing to do as well.

They both did.

_As soon as he can. We'll have to talk. _Dean shuddered at the thought, but considering the heck of the last few months, he was willing to endure a chick flick moment.

He was pretty sure neither of them would live long if they didn't get some things cleared up first.

...

Dean knew, as much as he hated it, that it was time to leave. Their fake insurance could only hold up so long and they'd been here a very long time already.

This was what led to the rather painful experience of sneaking a weak Sam out of the hospital. The youngest Winchester couldn't stand by himself and every moment seemed to be painful for him. The pitiful whimpers that fell from him as they whisked him through the parking lot to the Impala each left a gaping hole in Dean's soul and made him want to cut his own ears off just so he would never have to hear his brother make such horrible sounds again.

The knowledge that it was all his fault only made it worse.

Finally, though, the hunters got Sam to the car. With much difficulty and more agony, they got Sam situated in the back seat, laid out as comfortable as possible. Dean gave him some morphine he had _borrowed_ from the hospital the second Sam was in the car.

Sam's eyes drifted shut right after the drugs took effect and Dean took that as permission to start the journey to Bobby's house.

...

Sam's recovery was long and hard, probably the hardest the Winchesters had ever endured.

The kid was greatly restricted in movement, in agony most of the time. He couldn't do much for himself, which led to some very awkward and quite embarrassing moments for the two boys.

They were never going to mention the bathroom incident again.

Eating was a whole different adventure, as Sam alternated between too nauseous to eat and absolutely ravenous but unable to find the energy to feed himself.

Dean was a solid rock throughout it all, pushing aside all emotional issues for later, knowing that Sam needed him. He made it his own personal mission to make sure Sam was fed, slept well, was as comfortable as possible, and was well-entertained.

He even read to his little brother when Sam didn't really have the energy to move much. Dean was pretty sure he had read more in the last few weeks that he had in his entire life.

Nightmares were a big issue almost from the beginning. Sam woke up screaming at least once a night, sometimes more, and Dean would leap out of his own bed, carefully gathering his fragile brother in his arms and soothing him back to sleep. More often than not, Dean didn't leave the bed again afterwards, choosing to stay there in case his brother woke up from another nightmare or needed him for anything else.

Things improved slowly, finally reaching the point where Sam could mostly walk around on his own.

The youngest Winchester would always walk with a limp and this was something Dean would never forgive himself for. It would be a constant reminder to the older brother that he had failed, he had let his sibling suffer. Sam didn't seem to care all that much, but Dean cared enough for the both of them and more.

...

This wasn't a conversation Dean wanted to have. However, he _needed_ to have it and Dean was in one of those states of mind that he could acknowledge it.

"What happened to you, Sam?"

They hadn't talked yet, about anything, but Dean knew it was time. Sam's nightmares were getting bad, and Dean's weren't easing up either. There was a huge pink elephant dancing in a tutu in the room and it was going to bring down the house if they didn't get rid of it.

Sam tensed where he sat on the couch, then melted acceptingly, relaxing a fraction as Dean came to sit next to him.

"I paid an information's dealer to start looking for ways to break the deal. I figured the more eyes the better. He told me about this powerful witch who might have a way. After...After our fight-" Sam glanced at Dean, pain flashing in his eyes at the memory of the nasty argument. "he called me and said he knew where she was. I went and talked to her. She had what I needed. A spell that would confuse the hellhounds. Because of the details of your deal, if I got hurt, if they messed up or it looked like they did, you would be free."

Dean was tense and strained, a picture of those hellhounds ripping into his brother flashing across his mind's eye. _Oh gosh. _

"Why did you disappear? Where were you?"

Sam winced, gazing down at his lap. "She would only cast the spell if I did her a favor. Her sister made a deal for her family and if I took the hellhounds for her too, then we would be even. I disappeared beforehand because the witch didn't want me telling you too much, didn't want you interefering." Sam threw Dean a desperate, pleading look. "You have to believe me, Dean, I _never_ wanted you to not know where I was. I thought I was going to be able to at least leave you some sort of message, tell you I was okay, that I was alive. She refused. She knew how you could be when I was in trouble."

Dean's lips twitched at that.

_She's right about that at least._

"It's okay, Sammy. I believe you."

_It's not like I didn't deserve those months of agony, after what I did to you._

Dean took a deep breath. It was his turn.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I...I should have helped you or at least not given you such a hard time about the deal. I don't...I can't regret making the deal, because you're _alive_, but I am sorry about the attitude I took up. You just...I didn't realize how big a deal it would be, I guess. I didn't think you really needed me-"

"_What?_" Sam's shocked and suddenly angry voice broke through.

_Shoot. That didn't come out the way I wanted it to._

Sam turned to fully face Dean, grabbing his brother's shirt and jerking him forward, forcing him to look at him.

_"You think I don't need you?"_

Dean stared at his younger brother, surprised at the tone.

Sam exploded when he was angry, yelling and arm waving usually involved. But now...now Sam's voice was soft, yet full of power, firm, furious and determined.

_"You think you're the only Winchester who needs his brother? You're all I have left, Dean. __I need you, Dean. I've seen what I become without you, when I try to live without you. It's frightening, Dean, because __**there is no me.**__Sammy dies with you, Dean, and Samuel replaces him. Hard, cold murderer. Kills anything that crosses his path, patches himself up and doesn't flinch at pain. Does whatever he has to to survive. __**Whatever**__ he has to. I don't want to be that, Dean. I'm going to say this as clearly as humanly possible and I don't want to ever hear you say that again, so you better listen." _

Dean met the watering eyes of his baby brother and nodded. While he had had some realizations in Sam's absence, some deep part of him needed to hear this out loud. Some part of him couldn't accept, couldn't understand, that Sam needed him just as much as he needed Sam.

_"You're my big brother, Dean. You made me what I am, you raised me. I need you to joke with me, I need you to patch me up after a hunt goes bad, I need you to be there to keep my spirits up, to worry about me when I'm hurt or closed off, to make sure I eat by teasing me. I need you to be there to watch my back, to make sure I don't do something stupid. To pull me out of my own head every once in a while, to keep me from drowning in my own thoughts, my guilt and pain. I need my partner, my best friend, my **brother** by my side. I love you, Dean, and I will do **whatever **it takes to make sure you stay with me. You think I can't protect you? You think I can't keep you safe? **Watch me.**"_

Dean stared at Sam, stunned, unaware of the tears that were running down his cheeks.

Finally, Sam's face softened and he gently pulled his big brother into a hug.

"You finally get the message, dude?" he teased lightly.

Dean snorted. "Thick skull, Sammy. You aren't the only stubborn one in the family."

Sam chuckled. "Don't I know it."

Sam released Dean, pulling back a little, flashing Dean a small embarrassed smile.

After a few minutes of quiet thinking, Dean finally spoke softly. "I really am sorry, Sam."

Sam grabbed his older brother's shoulders. "I forgive you, Dean. And I get it. I do. But we just...we can't do this to each other. We can't."

Sam sucked in a deep breath. "We do it together or we do it never, Dean. Got it?"

Dean nodded, firmly, then decided that enough was enough and they had used up their click flick credits for the rest of their lives.

A smirk appeared on his face. "Alright, Samantha. Stop being a girl and let's go eat. I'm starved."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Jerk."

"#$%^."

Yeah, things were finally back the way they belonged with the Winchester brothers. Not the same as they had been before, but better. They were stronger, more united than ever, and ready to face the world once more.

They had nothing to fear, because they had each other and it would always be that way. Nothing could stand up to the Winchesters when they were united and neither brother would ever forget that again.

They were brothers and there was no force on earth or off that was more powerful than that.


End file.
